What is going on

I left already 4 days ago the small lost village in the mountain and came back to Lucerne and to my "normal" life.
Although starting again the school life is not easy and I will have to reset a lot of the habits acquired during my internship, the hardest thing is the state of uncertainty in which I live right now.
I am aware of the fact that most of the questions I have in my head come only from the loss of my equilibrium.
Let me explain.
I have spent an incredible amount of time and effort trying to understand myself and catch a glimpse of my direction. And I thought I was on the right path for self definition. I built some cardinal points of my soul and I let them inspire me and be my light through the dark periods. In other words, I was discovering myself and I didn't feel as lonely as I used to, even if I was not the girl with thousand "friends".
Next thing I know is that my inner compass started spinning around like crazy. Well, this was the moment the equilibrium was broken. The magnet I came in contact with was stronger than thought.
This is all a metaphor, and I know I could say the things in a ore explicit way, but I like the imaginative poetry behind all of this story.
Now I am lost.
I never had to deal with such a situation before.
And it is not easy.
And as usual I am not willing to just say directly what I think, because it is difficult and because I would only make a fool of myself.
I am feeling so stupid because I have some silly doubts and I don't want to ask for the solution.
How do I have to act in such a situation?
Do I have to be present?
Do I have to wait for the attentions I want?
Do I have to keep going as I couldn't feel that the weather is changing?
Is the weather changing at all?
Do I have to give breath and space?
Am I still important as I was before?
Are words and sentences just mere unions of letters with no significance?
And above all, how did I came to the point of being so afraid again?
Do not get me wrong.
I am happy with all of what is happening.
But the fact that I can't confess my many interrogative points is confusing me.
Because I still feel like the abstraction of this moment is real and at some point I will just categorize it under "Things I have overthought and imagined".