It is probably just the spring. It always bring wind of news and changes.
Well, this was a real critical moment. Of course at the beginning it seemed like I was fighting an intergalactic war. Now however the situation is assuming a new (and smaller) dimension.
With this I don't want to say that I completely don't care at all. I mean that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I am tough.
People always get the idea that since I am particularly sensitive, I need help, as if I was only 5 years old.
And no.
I definitely don't need help of any kind, because I am a grown up woman. I am not one of those porcelain ballerinas used as decorative objects, frail and with no independence. I am not afraid that someone will break me. I have been through periods where I really fell into pieces, but I picked them up, again and again. And now I can't say that I am perfect as those motionless ballerinas, but I couldn't like the result more. I have great incredible stories to tell, I have so much love for those who are not afraid of coming close to me. But I don't have time to loose in mind games or in an immature environment where the people don't want to appreciate me for the whole package. Yes I am messy, I am an over-thinker, I don't have always a smile on my face.
So what?
I am much more than the "problems" I could cause to those around me. I don't want ever again to feel like I am wrong for being who I am. And I am not going to ask people to forgive me for living my way. I did it in the past to avoid conflicts and live a quiet life and the only person who was not happy in the end was always me. And anyway who would like to live a quiet life?
You know, this is one of those rare moments where everything is as it is supposed to be. And I don't want to force changes.
Well, even if it is not an achievements for many, in all this "difficult" period I have cried only twice.. On the same day I admit it, but after that nothing. NO TEARS!
If this is not a proof that I am definitely not the porcelain ballerina many see in me.. Well then you probably don't know me enough.
Time to go to bed for me!
Have a good night amazing people :)